Monthly Archives: December 2011

Reflecting #reverb11

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Reflect – Take a moment to think back on your reverb11 responses.  Have you learned anything?  What surprised you about this experience?  Which of your responses was your favorite?

I enjoyed taking the reverb11 challenge this year. There were a few posts that I still have no answer for or I was too chicken-shit to answer. All in all, I feel like I touched on great things. The times that I sat at my computer and sobbed as the words flowed to the page were some of the few truly healing moments I allowed myself to have. Reverb11 helped me move through some of the pain and frustration of the year, and I’m not as bitter as I was when I started.

I made new friends. These friends shared wisdom with me, made me laugh and told me it was okay to cry. Reverb11 is a magical thing. We all open up and show our true colors to people that just read. We don’t judge. We understand that everyone has their own writing style, some who can weave the magic of the world around you with their stunning descriptions. Some who are just honest and straightforward. Some write with laughter, some with a sobriety. Each one of us is part of this amazing group that connects with emails and a hashtag.

I don’t know how to pick a favorite post. I’ll see what I can do though.

Okay, I read through them. Some are funny, some are touching, but this one, I never want to forget. I like it. It is about a moment that I accepted myself.

I’m happier than I was when I started this month. The prompts are like therapy, only without having to go to an office that smells like other people’s stank and pay money.

Oh, can we just let it settle? #reverb11

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Shaking Things Up – Looking towards 2012, what can you do to shake things up a little next year?

Honestly, I’m looking forward to a non-shaken year. I’m looking for things to settle from the last time I shook everything up. Last year, I shook the snowglobe, this year, I’ll watch the debris settle.

I want to find myself in a happy place at the end of the year, because fear started to subside. I want to no longer have this tally in my brain of who did what and what I owe and HOWWILLIEVERPAYTHEMBACK stress.

Can we just shake things up by having a peaceful year? I know that’s asking for a lot. I can’t really pick out a year that has been peaceful. So I think that’s good. How about getting a year that is so limited in pain, suffering, and the general flotsam of life that the good moments always outweigh the bad. The laughter overwhelms the tears. Or even the only tears shed are from laughter!

Oh, I know I’m not being realistic, but a girl can dream. In a world so full of darkness, I just want to find a little light next year. That’s how I’m going to shake it up. I’m just going to have a positive year.

One day, I’m going to look back and sigh and pat past me on the head for writing this. Oh, if she only knew…, I’ll say. Life is tricky, I’ll say.  You tried your damnedest, I’ll say.

I want a year of joy, peace, and love. That is how I want my life shaken in 2012. I will pursue these things with a coy dance that employs all the skills of a seasoned flirt.

Dream a little dream… #reverb11

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3 Wishes – If a genie could grant you 3 wishes for 2012, what would they be?

Oh, don’t we all have so much more than three?

1. Without a doubt, my first wish is for my brother. I want to see him smile, truly smile, again. I would do anything I could to help this happen. Seriously, I’ll even babysit.

2. My wishes are simple. I wish for nothing truly outlandish, because I’m pretty happy with life. I wish that I was out of debt and actually had savings and investments. I wish that I had monetary freedom so that I could share with others. I want to be the person that gives back.

3. I want to trust my choices again. I would like to have faith in myself and the way I feel. I know I’ll always question myself a little, but I’d like to do it less. Healing old wounds will help that.

Outlandish Wishes:

Wouldn’t it be freakin’ neat if all the trolls, goblins, hobbits, vampires, wereanimals and fairies really existed? Freakin’ neat as hell.  I mean of course there are logistics that would need figuring, but it could be done.

What if we had a functional congress? One that didn’t bicker and use their positions for sexual intrigue and making sure that they block anything that the other side wants done. That sure would be something.

Ireland. I want to go. I want to see if its somewhere I can make a life for myself. Wouldn’t it be grand if I upped and moved there? I’d like to be that person. I refuse to move to New York, even though I have a place to stay, just because I don’t have a guaranteed job. I’d like to be that person though.

Do not light yourself on fire. #reverb11

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Author! Author! – Share with us the title and inside jacket cover of the book you’d most like to write.

What I would most like to write is a cookbook, sprinkled with anecdotes of my mistakes and general disasters.

The title might be something like Do Not Light Yourself on Fire (and other cooking tips).

The description might read:

In the world of cooking, dangers abound. Follow Leslie on her journey as she attempts to navigate the cooking industry without maiming herself too horribly in the process. Root for her as she shares her most successful recipes and laugh alongside her when she tells you about the time she caught air putting away the salt or singed her nostrils because the food just smelled so good.

I will write this one day. You will love it. I promise.

Shine on, little soul. Shine on #reverb11

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Music is powerful – Think of one song that you turn to time and again, and describe why it’s important to you.

I know nothing of music. I can’t tell you why I love a song, other than it touches a part of my soul. Some are songs that are deep and resonate, others are just light and sunny. Ella Fitzgerald to LMFAO are on my playlists. So, here are a few that just make some part of me shine. Please enjoy.

If I hear this song, I stop what I’m doing and dance. I can’t help it. Its involuntary joy.

This song is always in my brain. I don’t know why, but it just resonates with me. Of course I love other songs but this is the one that my brain plays all the time. Its my groove.

This song and video are so silly that I can’t resist. I really think there needs to be a Wiggle flash mob.

Any time I am ever feeling down, out of sync or weird about life, I play a little Jason Mraz and suddenly life is beautiful again. He is a genius with lyrics and his music is suffused with joy.

Somebody Has to Say It… #reverb11

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Somebody Has to Say It… I’m looking for as little as one sentence here although you should feel free to explain yourself if you see fit.

You ARE good enough.

For fuck’s sake, quit asking for outside validation and give yourself your own approval. If you don’t approve of yourself, you’re the only one who can change that. So change it. Quit being that girl or guy that NEEDS ego stroking. I promise that you’ll feel better. Really.

The pilot light in my heart #reverb11

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Passion – If you could quit your day job and your quality of life wouldn’t change, what would you do?

I did this. Twice in the past 5 years, in fact.

In 2008, I quit/got fired from my job as a computer tech and went to work at a bakery. I had never worked food service before, but its what I wanted to do. Working at the bakery fueled my desire to work in a hot kitchen. In August, I quit the bakery and went to work for a restaurant where there are two cooks.  Now, I am the Sous Chef at a restaurant. That’s my title, anyway. I consider myself a cook. But it sounds impressive, doesn’t it?

I’ve never worked so hard for something and been given such rewards. Its backbreaking, disgusting work sometimes. When you think of working in a kitchen, you think of preparing food. Most people dont think about the fact that you have to SCRUB the kitchen every day. Deck brushing, cleaning grease traps and fryers, hood vents, garbage, drains, etc. It is one of the most disgusting jobs. Every 3 months, we come in on a day off, pull all of the stoves and grills and coolers out, away and apart and scrub those down too. At the end of my day, I’m tired. Bone weary. What do I do?

I come home and cook. Because I LOVE it. Nothing makes me calm and happy like cooking. True, nothing makes me angry, harrassed and annoyed like cooking, sometimes, but damn if it isn’t worth it. I am confident in my ability to improve a recipe. I am confident in my ability to honor the food I’m making by making it to the best of my ability. The times that I get angry or annoyed is when I’m having an off night and burned something or dropped a bowl. Its when I do the food an injustice by treating it with less respect.

I’ve been told that my presence in the kitchen makes our food taste better. Now, this is lofty praise, and I take it with a grain of salt, but damn it feels good to hear that. When people tell me they love seeing my smile as I make their dinner, it makes me warm inside. I am lucky to have found what I love and am good at.

One day, I hope to have my own cookbook. But that’s a while from now.

Just wait though. Just wait.