What made you laugh this year?
Mostly? Me. My mishaps. I’m forgetful and clumsy.
Examples from my twitter feed:
- Me: Dammit. I have a bruise! Dixie: You are Leslie. These things are related.
- Know what’s important to have before you leave the house? PANTS. Pants are important. I almost left without pants on. Sigh.
- Sometimes, I look at my wrist and am like wtf is all over my arm? Oh yeah. It’s that tattoo I got… Sometimes, I’m an idiot.
- Fyi: Oreos dipped in pineapple juice instead of milk is a terrible idea.
- I’m going to start a daily injuries accrued list to catalog the various reasons I’m amazed I’m alive and haven’t died in some idiotic fashion
- ProTip: Don’t deep fry your finger tips. It’s painful and not even tasty.
- In case you ever thought to yourself, “Hey, grabbing this pan handle that just came out of the 400 degree oven sounds smart” you’d be wrong.
- Problems clumsy people have: perfume should not be sprayed into your eyes. Ow.
- I have 19 bruises and 2 cuts… I got bored so I counted.
- Oh lord. Falling down stairs is bad, even 2. While stressed, even worse. My back is so locked up. I wish I was graceful.
I also was at work and slipped and fell. When I say slipped and fell, what I mean was I lost my balance, made air time, fell flat on my back, and oh yeah, I had a bowl of salt in my hand so I seasoned myself. Once I took stock of my injuries, which were only really to my lower back and pride, I laid there, spread eagle, heads of my coworkers coming into view and laughed my ass off at how epic that must have looked. This convinced them that I hadn’t died. I found salt in very strange places.
I am insanely clumsy. It is rather hilarious at this point. Its what I deem The Leslie Effect.
Also, this picture makes me laugh hysterically. I have no idea why, but it is my desktop background because it does.